generally i don’t mind being single, but actually quite enjoy myself – i can flirt with whom i want – i highly enjoy making men do exactly as i want – i love to just spend time with myself and not care about anyone or anything in the world

but sometimes, when the perfect couple visits and i see all the little intimacies, the kisses, embraces and whispers between them, i get incredibly melancholic and want that right away for myself – so tonight, on the eve of my nine-and-twentieth birthday, the perfect couple* just having left me to clear up the party mess, the empty bottles and crisps wrappers, blow out the candles and crawl into bed alone, i feel so very sad – i never thought, i’d become that girl, that sad, lonely, single girl – it’s all a bit bridget jones, really, but i cannot help it and i desperately feel in need of a man tonight – not even for the obvious reasons, but simply to snuggle up to and feel comforted by

* he, with whom i spend hours discussing our doctoral projects and occasionally behaving like silly kids, full of crazy ideas – and she, who is the best friend anyone could imagine and without whom life would not be the same