there must be a mail-order service for depression, where i unconsciously keep on ordering bucket-loads full of depressive news – there is just no end to the things that keep on popping up and making already troublesome days almost unbearable – there is sickness, death and war where ever i look – personal and public
i think it is about time for a counterstrike – i officially announce my new business – antidepressants by the busload – you can order the following packages:
- 3-Day, recommended for minor depressive attacks caused by minor accidents and incidents, such as a tear in your favourite dress, breaking your grandma’s inheritance china or failing an exam – this package will include 3 days worth of funny clips, cartoons and messages, a bar of finest chocolate and some nice sad songs to wallow in your misery
- 5-Day, recommended for medium depressions, short-term hear-sickness and overly long and gray winter weeks – this package will include 5 days worth of funny clips, cartoons and messages, a fine box of chocolates, a recommendation for a good cheesy movie and some nice sad songs to wallow in your misery
- 10-Day, recommended for hard-core bouts of depression, recurring bad news and unbearable pain – this package will include 10 days worth of funny clips, cartoons and messages, a tin of your favourite ben&jerrys ice-cream, a whole long list of movie recommendations for long and lonley nights, where a tissue box is your only friend, and – of course – some nice sad songs to wallow in your misery
orders to be put in via comment – add your e-mail adress and the date you wish the “treat”-ment to start – happy antidepressant days!