the weather couldn’t be better as my mood couldn’t be worse – blue skies and blue mood – nothing seems to help, as i glide into a state of not caring and simply existing – even sitting on my favorite bench  in the sunshine, reading and eating yummy yummy letter cookies  does not help – i am in a funny state – i’d fain call it being in love, but somehow that doesn’t quite describe the situation – it’s rather a desperate kind of crush   that won’t go away and that i am fighting no matter what – i want to get rid of it, but this feeling has taken hold of my mind deep down, has settled in comfortably and refuses to leave – so i am in a constant bad mood, cannot enjoy the sunshine and instead am sitting at home with a huge tub of chocolate gelato  wallowing in self-pity and enjoying it nevertheless – this has got to stop sooner or later but for now i don’t need anything, but a good romantic chick flick  some more chocolate and loads of kleenex – it’ll pass, it really will, it always does and this is no exception!