period mix

so, who’s stopping by with my cupcakes and music to soothe my womb

sick notebook

makes me very unhappy – my beloved notebook was infested with a nasty little trojan – i have hopefully removed it now, but it thaught me to never be too sure, since it was very well hidden and only my uncle’s sound advise has helped me to find and get rid of it – so, thanks for that and keep well, dear aura sandino ;)

music of the month: august

why have i never heard of rocky m. before? and who is he? and why is there no way to find out – not even via wikipedia? – do you know, who he is? – anywas, great song, very catchy

next, not music in a strictly speaking sense, but very musical to me and very dearly loved – the minster bells of york

b&b hunting and the incredible maze of british public transport

bed & breakfast – a british institution – but finding the perfect one in the perfect place is not quite  as simple as imagined – i want to go to the yorkshire dales for a couple of nights, so i tried finding the perfect place first – having finally settled on aysgarth, i am now in the process of securing lodgins – it seems impossible, just as well as public transportation in this country is a nightmare  – it’s perfect, once you’re on the right bus or train, but finding the right one, choosing the perfect rate, locating it’s destinated place of departure is very confusing indeed – i keep on cross-referencing with several timetables in paper and on the internet – and yet, i still made a serious miss-booking just this morning – i’ll be leaving haworth around lunch time, get to york in the early afternoon to catch a train to thirsk – but the cheapes off-peak one doesn’t leave till later that night – bah, could have spent more time in haworth and saved £ 5, instead get to hurry out of haworth and linger some more in york or spend more money – tough decision – but enough for today – 2 hours of this and my head’s a mess and i keep on thinking in circles:

‘what if i catch the 9:22 out of york, that’ll get me to malton, but no, then i’ll just have missed the 10:34 on to pickering. the next one isn’t till 11:56. is malton nice? and then i won’t get to pickering until 15:43 and by that time i’ll not be able to catch a train that day. but the 6:24 will get me to pickering directly, then i’ll just have to wait for 4 hours for the train. hm, is pickering nice? oh, damn, that bus is only listed on the internet, not on the bus guide. what does that mean? i won’t get there at all?’

i am sure there’s a way and people get to pickering in time, it’s just nothing that can be looked up anywhere – one of these things, british people just know – and i am equally sure, i’ll eventually find my way – it’s just very discomforting to plan for hours and then have the feeling of having achieved nothing of great value, just a mis-booked train ticket, which cannot be exchanged without paying wbout double the amount you paid for the ticket in the first place

and here’s to all the bed & breakfasts in the world – may you prosper and keep on confusing people

antidepressants by the busload, please

there must be a mail-order service for depression, where i unconsciously keep on ordering bucket-loads full of depressive news – there is just no end to the things that keep on popping up and making already troublesome days almost unbearable – there is sickness, death and war where ever i look – personal and public

i think it is about time for a counterstrike – i officially announce my new business - antidepressants by the busload – you can order the following packages:

• 3-Day, recommended for minor depressive attacks caused by minor accidents and incidents, such as a tear in your favourite dress, breaking your grandma’s inheritance china or failing an exam – this package will include 3 days worth of funny clips, cartoons and messages, a bar of finest chocolate  and some nice sad songs to wallow in your misery
• 5-Day, recommended for medium depressions, short-term hear-sickness and overly long and gray winter weeks – this package will include 5 days worth of funny clips, cartoons and messages, a fine box of chocolates, a recommendation for a good cheesy movie  and some nice sad songs to wallow in your misery
• 10-Day, recommended for hard-core bouts of depression, recurring bad news and unbearable pain – this package will include 10 days worth of funny clips, cartoons and messages, a tin of your favourite ben&jerrys ice-cream, a whole long list of movie recommendations for long and lonley nights, where a tissue box is your only friend, and – of course – some nice sad songs to wallow in your misery

orders to be put in via comment – add your e-mail adress and the date you wish the “treat”-ment to start – happy antidepressant days!

somebody to love

leighton meester on her new song

it is definitely about what’s going on in my life and i think anybody can relate. you’re crazy, you’re busy, you’re young and you’re running around and it’s really hard to find somebody to love. people love you but you don’t really love them.

me about leighton meester’s new song

i can definitely relate – jet-set girl that i am, i find it very hard to find somebody to love – new york, san francisco, london, berlin – i am just too busy hopping on planes or trains and being fabulous – there’s simply no time for love, so i keep on falling for impossible men – it’s some kind of self-protection against being hurt by being left behind or leaving – only one overly large flaw, it desperately hurts to be love sick in the first place, to long after someone that can never be yours and be totally lovelorn* and full of lover’s grief

got my back against the wall
wonder where i’ll be tomorrow?

so very true, i really wonder where life will take me next

* i just learned that word today and i really like it – lovelorn, oh yes, that is how i feel at the moment

kiss me…

… i am an enchanted scholarship – to me it seems like all scholarships are enchanted and especially so i won’t understand how to dechant them – kissing? who? and when? and where? and how long? – doing a phd seemed so easy, but needing money to support myself and my not even extravagant life-style is a drag, so a scholarship is inevitable – it’s just a question of enduring

eden

i agree, every girl needs a gay best friend, but i think i’d have left then and there – who cares if this is paradise

little miss lonely

chaos week

it’s fashion week in berlin – it’s session week at the bundestag in berlin – but it’s also chaos week in my life – where to start? – between my mom going missing, work being simply to crazy for words and the abso-fuckin’-lutely hot weather, it’s hard to chose

so, let’s make a list of all the crazy, bad things that happened to me this week and then you can judge for yourself, wether i was jinxed or what’s been going on

1. crazy work
2. my mom going missing
3. hot, hot, hot
4. an in the middle of it all i find myself dancing in the rain
5. chaos with berlin s-bahn
6. train chaos – sudden track change 3 minutes before train’s supposed to leave – a man with a heart-attack, then going fast, fast, faster – hang on, slow, slow, slower? – that’s not right! – a broken engine (had to go to priort – where the f*** is priort? – to switch to the other engine) – then, after already 40 minutes delay, we stopped for a regio train of all things – crazy world
7. my cell phone display is broken – i can still call people, but only those, whose number i know by heart – no, it really was lucky i kept my old cell phone and i was home in göttingen for the weekend
8. a bird dropped it’s shit on me
9. somehow i managed to be at the train station an hour early – stupid me, completely unnecessary – i could have added an extra hour of afternoon nap

well, so far for all the major things that have happend, but as the week draws to it’s close, luck seems to change – i did get all my tube connections in berlin without having to wait one minute (something that never ever ever occured to me before anywhere int he world) – so i take this as a sign that luck indeed changed and that a week of chaos is followed by a week of luck and perfect happiness – i shall let myself be surprised by all the wonderful things that are sure to happen

addicted to love

November 11, 2008, 3:41 pm <!– — Updated: 3:41 pm –>

Gary Becker Thinks the Most Addictive Thing Is …

By Steven D. Levitt

Over 600 blog readers took a shot at guessing what Gary Becker thinks the most addictive thing on Earth is.

Lots of folks threw out things like crack and caffeine, but do you really think I’m going to offer a blog quiz with an obvious answer?

While not the answer I was looking for, there was something poetic about Deb’s guess:

A yawn. A smile. Salt.

Before I give the answer, it is worth thinking about what it means for a good to be addictive. At least the way I think about it, an addictive thing has the following characteristics:

1) Once you start consuming it, you want to consume more and more of it.

2) Over time you build up a tolerance to it, i.e. you get less enjoyment out of consuming a fixed amount of it.

3) Pursuit of that good leads you to sacrifice everything else in your life to get it, potentially leading you to do ridiculous things to try to get the good.

4) There is a period of withdrawal when you stop consuming the good.

No doubt alcohol and crack cocaine fit that description well. In Becker’s view, however, there is something even more addictive than substances: people.

When he first said this, it sounded kind of crazy to me. What does it mean to say that people are addictive?

Then I thought more about it, and I think he is right. Falling in love is the ultimate addiction. There is no question that in the early stages of attraction, spending a little bit of time with someone makes you desperately want more. Infatuation can be all-encompassing, and people will do anything to make a relationship blossom. They will risk everything and often end up looking utterly foolish. Once in a relationship, however, the utility one derives from time with the beloved diminishes. The heady excitement of courtship gives way to something much more mundane. Even if a relationship isn’t that good, for at least one of the parties there is a painful withdrawal period.

To get the exact answer I was looking for took until comment number 343, when Bobo responded “Other People.” Many others were close. Jeff (comment 13) said “Society or human companionship.” Laura (comment 47) said “Love.”

I’ll declare all three of them winners.

So what do you think? Is Gary Becker right or wrong?

i am not sure, i want to believe that being addicted to falling in love is the biggest addiction of them all – i sure know, i like to fall in love, so it’s an interesting notion – but that does not mean i have to be happy with the explanation – ah well, someone very nice and dear has sent me this article and promised to mail me something to help me with my love troubles - i am excited!

lost and lonely

ahhh, my dsl didn’t work this morning – it was scary – i even reset my dsl-router and checked all the settings, but it still didn’t work – it was a total muddle – then i had the brilliant idea of calling the provider, only to find out that it was some technical trouble – it’s all over now, but during the time trying to fix a problem, that wasn’t mine to fix, i managed to somehow disable my wireless completely and am at a total loss at how to fix it so it will start up automatically again, once i turn on the computer – what can i say – i’m a girl, technical stuff is scary

while a sunday without internet is very well survivable, for those two hours i felt totally disconnected from the world and somehow lonely

welcome to bermuda

mystery of the missing pillowcase – last night i put freh sheets on my bed – nothing out of the usual there – but in the end, i wanted to exchange one blue pillowcase with a fresh one – i had taken it out with the other bedding stuff, but suddenly i could not find it anymore – today, twenty-four hours later, still no sign of that particular blue pillowcase – this is so strange – i’ve serached my whole apartment – it simply is not here – i woke up during my afternoon nap, filled with horror – where’s the pillowcase? – i cooked dinner, and inbetween heating the water and putting the dirty dishes in the sink and peeling potatoes, dashed through my apartment, in the hope of finding it – hoping to catch it out of hiding by surprise – ahhhh, i am scared – i’ve been missing other stuff as well lately – is my apartment slowly turning into some kind of bermuda triangle?

dream diary, part IV

people and things, themes and ideas tumbled around in my various dreams last night – a colorful mixture of comedy, romance, tragedy and action – i can hardly remember anything – only … i was shopping for gloves and found the perfect ones – this morning i woke up and had to hurry to work – it was freezing and i didn’t have any gloves, let alone the perfect ones from my dream – i got to work with bright red hands and disaster took it’s course

 

i am currently sending out 3032 catalogues: putting catalogue into envelope, adding letter, closing envelope, stamping envelope, packing it into a box – it seems to take forever – i finished 200 yesterday and came to work today to find that the letter had a major misprint!!! – we wouldn’t send it out again, but we had to find a way to figure out, which 200 of the 3032 addressees had already gotten theirs in order not to double send it – complete confusion, which ended up in my spending 2 hours trying to figure it out and another 3 hours packing catalogues into envelopes – orange catalogues! – i don’t like orange anymore!!!

kitten love

having a bad day …?

… well, it can only get better …

… just ignore that the world is hell and have fun …

… don’t mind anybody else and be happy with who you are!

bad boy complex

so, i’ve finally got it all figured out – i’ve got a bad boy complex – i always fall for the bad boys, never for the nice guys – that’s definitely not good – there are so many cool guys, whom i really love – but they’re just my best friends, kind of like substitute brothers - and i’m not at all attracted to any of them – i wish i would be – would save me loads of trouble and tears – and don’t say, you gotta try and love always starts with friendship – no, no, no, no, no – tried that – falling for my best friend – not such a good idea – so i’m back with the bad boys, which will never work out – but my hopelessly romantic mind somehow always tricks me into trying again  – seriously, i do need some help!

i feel blue

the weather couldn’t be better as my mood couldn’t be worse – blue skies and blue mood – nothing seems to help, as i glide into a state of not caring and simply existing – even sitting on my favorite bench  in the sunshine, reading and eating yummy yummy letter cookies  does not help – i am in a funny state – i’d fain call it being in love, but somehow that doesn’t quite describe the situation – it’s rather a desperate kind of crush   that won’t go away and that i am fighting no matter what – i want to get rid of it, but this feeling has taken hold of my mind deep down, has settled in comfortably and refuses to leave – so i am in a constant bad mood, cannot enjoy the sunshine and instead am sitting at home with a huge tub of chocolate gelato  wallowing in self-pity and enjoying it nevertheless – this has got to stop sooner or later but for now i don’t need anything, but a good romantic chick flick  some more chocolate and loads of kleenex – it’ll pass, it really will, it always does and this is no exception!

dear johnny depp…

… i would highly appreciate if you could give me the number of your make-up artist from the pirates movies.

i tried my best to create the jack sparrow look and it worked alright, but it’s been a while and i still have black all over my eyes, not to mention in my eyes. it starts hurting and bothering my contact lenses.

note, i am not asking for your number. i am not that presumptuous, even though it would be great to meet you one day, but one should not hope too much.

anyways, if you could let your make-up artist know that i’d appreciate some hints as to even better looks and also as to removal of the pirate look once one decides to get ready for a shore outing. that would be very much appreciated!