shockingly so

our possible new foreign minister? – washington post says:

will a schoolboy in a caravan be germany’s new foreign minister – what shall become of that?

and even though we all feared this was going to happen, it is slightly shocking that it is now about to happen – germany, dear motherland, i believe i must abandon you and fly to better coasts – but there is no flying from a foreign minister, is there? – he is bound to be everywhere – ahhh, o horror, horror, horror – better look at my soothing picture

sleepless in … göttingen

i need to end this – and soon – another sleepless night will not do – to hell with solidarity, i can’t always become sick, when friends are sick, stay awake when friends stay awake or spend another sleepless night just to be just as weary looking as someone else – that is just not acceptable – but what can i do, if not even a hot-minty chocolate and a good book put me to sleep and i stay up till the early morning hours, just to feel like crap when i finally do wake up (pretty sure i look like crap as well)

that’s that

i am stupid and wet and cold and miserable with a capital M – life can really suck and how i ever believed things could change is now completely lost on me – some things never change and my life back from the big city is not how i imagined it would be – it seems like i was never gone in some ways and still it is impossible to pick up right where i left off – having been missed and being welcomed back is rather nice and i do enjoy old habits – but i truly wish i could have left some habits deeply buried in the abysses of the past, instead of taking them out the first chance i get and afterwards feeling worse than i have in months

and now i am lonely, oh so lonely and a bottle of blackberry wine my only companion for tonight – really, feeling more and more like an old spinster each day – that is ridiculous – just as ridiculous as me thinking i could change things and forget so easily – at least the wine is yummy and goes well with chocolate ice-cream and there’s always time to regret later – tonight i am getting drunk, sadly alone and rather lonesome, but at least i’ve got good music and i guess a couple of more glasses and i’ll be dancing around wildly and stupidly – is that sad? – i believe so, but right now i don’t give a fuckin’ damn about it – i am miserable and this makes it feel a little more bearable

shocking news

some things you just do not want to know – urgh, delete – delete – delete – delete – that’s all i can say

ps: category explanation – definitively NOT my date from hell – very much relieved about that!

i feel the urge to be sick

Paris Hilton’s Robert Pattinson Crush

The heiress loves Rob just as much as we do!…

Wednesday 11th Feb 2009

Paris Hilton has joined the Robert Pattinson-mania sweeping the globe by revealing that the Twilight hearthrob has her bowled over completely.

The heiress – who is currently filming the British version of her reality show, My New BFF – says that she was bitten by the Pattsinon bug after watching Rob as Edward Cullen in the vampire flick, Twilight.

“I just saw Twilight last night for the first time, and I have to say that I think Rob is a beautiful man and an amazing actor,” Paris told E! News.

“He’s fabulous!

“Now I understand all the hype. I just didn’t get it before, but now it all makes sense. I really enjoyed the movie and loved watching Rob in it.”

Paris threw herself back onto the dating scene after splitting  with Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden a couple of month ago.

Let’s hope she doesn’t sink her teeth into the most eligable bachelor in Tinsletown…

mad like hell

ohhh, i am so angry, i can’t even express it in words, so here goes

http://www.guzer.com/animations/voodoo.php

dazed and confused

oh, just a tiny little bit of that – you probably know, what i’m talking about – this feeling, that you’re kind of happy, but also sort of missing something important – i’ve been told, ever so subtly by a good friend, that someone likes me – not that i hadn’t noticed before, but once it was said out aloud, everything changed – he can’t like me, he has a girlfriend! – that is not how things are supposed to work

i am not even sure, if i like that someone – i mean, it’s been kind of obvious he’s smitten with me, but i’ve just enjoyed the attention, not really thinking anything else would happen – now i really am confused and i’ve even stopped sleeping well, which really worries me because i always sleep well

sure, i do like attention and to be in love would be ever so nice, but is all that worth to have someone else’s heart broken or possibly even mine in the end? – there are those, who tell you, love is worth it all, but then there’s little scared me, too afraid to go that one last step, which will lead me whence there is no return – to get involved will mean to become vulnerable and i don’t need another heartbreak just yet

some things never change

men are peculiar creatures – i ain’t saying no to alien boys, as you can figure from my fascination with doctor who – but some of the regular guys are just very strange as well – neither saying hello nor goodbye at a party – suddenly trying to flirt with me after knowing me for ever, just because his girlfriend recently split up with him and my top was slightly more revealing than usual – disappearing without the least notice, after spending half the night trying to get my attention focused on him – going home after i decide it would be nice to actually talk to someone else for five minutes, even though i really do want to talk to the one person in the room that fascinates me the most, but, considering strategic thiniking, as bridget jones and cora hübsch have taught me, i thought i’d focus his attention even more on me, when i pretended i was not that interested – appear aloof and thus stay interesting – mööp, wrong turn, totally fucking wrong – i’m a fool, not a fool in love, but somehow a fool – i don’t know what i want – someone is nice to me, pays me more than a usaul amount of attention and i am gone over the edge – that’s how a crush starts – crushes are nice, but they can become off limits – especially if there is more than one guy, which there usually is, and i cannot make up my mind, which i usually can’t – and i despise tarot for its dumb affair advice – i don’t want no affair – even though i might not admit it even truly to myself, i want the bad boys – príncipe barbaro or flagrante, not pretty nice boy azul – i wan’t them to want me, fight for my attention, as if i was the only girl in the world and then carry me off into the distant for plenty of exciting adventures – if they fight, only one wins, and i don’t have to decide – what do i want again?

maybe tarot was right…

someone played a cruel trick on me – príncipe bárbaro? he’s also unpredictable and definitely moody. but no – no, no, no, no – NO, not príncipe material, certainly not!

i chose to believe tarot is wrong for this once – this cannot be my príncipe and even if he is, i can choose to not want him and THAT is what i do choose!

call hell, you’ll get me…

not exactly date from hell, more like a whole long day from hell – nine hours of work and nothing less then one of the guys loosing his phone; a customer calling in every half hour to complain about a broken washing machine and asking, when someone will come over to fix it; a crazy lady – truly crazy; the hat-guy, looking for this table, that was sold 5 days ago (“is it sold?” – he’s been asking at least once a day); two of the guys, coming in, acting like statler and waldorf, and getting terribly on my nerves; and the list goes on and on and on.

this is my work – there’s good days and bad – but today was especially horrible – let’s hope, it’ll be better next time, shall we?