things i never

having recently watched *breakfast at tiffany’s* for the very first time, i have been longing to do things that i have never done before with some one – like stealing s.th. or getting some ridiculous cheap item engraved at tiffany’s or simply doing s.th. stupid or silly just for the fun of the moment

well, also recently i have started to do quite a few things, i had never done before – and it turns out to be a really good idea:

* i have started teaching english to kids and am enjoying myself immensely

* i have gotten engaged – not really, just pretend; but it feels very adventurous and perhaps i should try it for real some time

* i have made peace with my vacuum cleaner, despite my firm believe that hoovering was invented by the devil, i now do it once a week

* i have forgiven a friend, who has hurt me so much, i couldn’t even bear to think about it; but i am alright now and feeling very good about being generous and telling said friend that it’s alright

* i have tried to dance seductively with a broom as a prop and failed miserably – it still was pretty good fun, though!

* i directed a play for the first time; with my very best friend and now – right after opening night – i am still full of the thrill of success

* and lastly, best of all and really rather rebellious, i have put up stickers in a ton of illicit places around the city and occasionally been lifted up to do so by a rather new and agreeable – in all aspects – friend; a pretty uplifting experience! you should try it some day!

indeed, doing things for the first time, however small and unimportant they seem, makes me very happy to be alive and feeling oh so vibrant and joyful – life is good, always remember and you’ll be happy as well! and why not try doing s.th. new – the world is full of possibilities, just grab one and off you go

cocktails are evil!

been to a cocktail party at the mon signor hotel last night, partying it up with hollywood star chester rush and his entourage – the bartenders were superb, the music fantastic, the people dressed handsomely, but the cocktails were pure evil – devine and delicious and very strong indeed – this is truly the morning after the night before and what a night it was – i am rather ashamed to say, i behaved wantonly and dragged out being drunk to an extreme of which i am not very proud – but as i said, cocktails are evil!

scary monsters

dancing on my own

it sometimes feels as if i spend my whole life dancing on my own, fending for myself and fighting for my bit of luck – and ever so often someone else just seems to be getting there first, seems to have all the luck that i missed by an inch – or i want to share a piece of great news and no one answers the phone – then strangers don’t talk to me and give me a weird look, if i just happen to try and start a friendly chat, while waiting in line at the bakers or waiting for the streetlight to turn to green – the same people who would gladly chat any other day or with any other person – and sometimes i am in a crowd of people, feeling sad and lonely and totally out-of-place – there is no one who remotely understands who and what i am and no one who wants to spontaneously break out and dance with me – i shall keep on dancing on my own

so you think you can dance?

it’s raining men

up until just now, when i heard it on the radio, i had completely forgotten about a perfectly nice thing someone did for me last week – i was at a party and after a couple of glasses of champagne started to feel a little down – the music wasn’t all that good and i’d been dancing for some time anyways, so i was just sitting there, getting more and more into a depressive funk, when this friend came up to me and suggested we’d dance some more – i really wasn’t up to it, so i said, only to the weather girls, not really thinking anyone would bother – but she went up to the dj and put in a request – and then she made me dance – and everyone else came along as well – i had chosen a popular song and it felt so good – thank you to the dj and that friend (they really saved my life that night)

don’t you ever let the bad days get to you!

he’s gone with the wind

my radio wakes me in the mornings, usually with nice music, but sometimes that doesn’t quite work out and i absolutely hate waking up to bad news (bombs in iraq, suicide attempts in afghanistan, atomic accidents etc.) – today it was just half a sentence and a waft of music, but this combination of “…like the wiiiind” and “partick swayze dead” made it immediately clear that i wasn’t still dreaming and what a rude awakening it was

childhood idols are not supposed to die – i say this quite clearly, i  never fancied him all that much, but he was classic and i cannot remember a time without wanting to watch “dirty dancing” and feeling like anything is possible and having the time of my life

this year’s end of the year death summary will be so sad – it feels like everyone is dying – and even if some are delivered from long suffering like patrick swayze and perhaps also michael jackson, it is still very much like seeing good friends vanish and a part of childhood and teenage years go forever – but i’d be a fool to believe life could go on forever and so yet again we have to say goodbye – and definitely watch “dirty dancing” a lot!

you invade my space

you can dance

you’ve got the moves

me dance pretty one day

so, tonight i will have my first ballet class – i am not too sure about that and expect i’ll behave like a klutz, but i thought i’d at least give it a try – you should always live up to your dreams and ballet has been on the list ever since i was a little girl – i am very excited and maybe this is the beginning of a wonderful, charmed life in the fine arts of fragile dancing – who knows, it might be – things happen – and two years ago i never thought i’d do more than awkward dance moves in a club and that turned out to be totally not true and by now i am part of my very own dance group and do just fine – so ballet really is just one next step

ps: august 21st 2009 – ballet is very nice, gives me sore muscles and a sense of being fragile, pretty and ever so slightly over the top cool, but this class is not so nice, gives me strange pain in strange places and a sense of being clownish, fat and being taught childish dance moves at an age that’s way over the top – so i’ll not quite give up the dream of becoming a prima-ballerina one day, but i am definitely not going to attend this make-belief adults-back-to-childhood, we dance ring-a-ring-a-roses type of class anymore – give my a good choreographer and teacher and i’ll dance anything anyday, but this? – no thank you very much, i’ll stay my way and feel pretty

where the hell is matt?

watching this gives me a bout of itchy feet – the weather can be as pretty and sunny as possible at home, right now, i want to run far, far away, find comfort in pain – oh, slightly off topic, since this is not in fact about a james blunt song, but about my yearning for far away places and around-the-world strayings – even though traveling might just be a pleasure to keep me from trouble and hide my true shape like dorian gray…

90s music – my precious youth

if i don’t get may daily dose of 90s music, i feel sad and strange and funny, so here goes

just a note…

… to say i am absolutely happy and in a fabulous mood – i often enough write, when i am feeling sad and blue, so this is a tribute to being happsy, flippy and bright-eyed – i do feel like dancing and that i shall do

saturday night

oh, i feel eleven and flashy and vibrant with life – no matter how stupid we look, we are dancing away the nights, saturday or whenever

dancing the night away

last night – me, some thrilled theatre crowd, very good music – what else do we need? – oh, space! – and there’s always room to dance at the theatre – o, what a night! – i haven’t had so much fun since, oh well, opening night, but that doesn’t count because that was planned – last night was totally spontaneous and oh so much fun! – i can’t wait for tonight and us to start all over again – till then i’ll just dance my day away…

dancing shoes and graduation dress

o, what a night – first graduation dinner with the parents and my three grandmas at a five star (*****) restaurant, with a deliciously cute waiter – príncipe camarero – then yet another theater premiere – i love opening nights and especially the after-show parties – food, drinks, friends and dancing – dancing the night away in my red dancing shoes, wearing my lovely new favorite dress – bought simply because celebrating one’s own graduation in a fancy restaurant is reason enough